Dear Reader

Dear Reader,

This quarter I read The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta which tells the story of the Mapleton after a rapture like event takes place and all the ones that people loved ones disappear in a rapture like event. Writing from the perspective of the four members of Garvey family Perrotta explains how humans survive with the grief after we lose those we love.

Perrotta’s exploration of what happens to those that are grieving made me want to research more about what happens when people grieve and how they survive. When researching grief one of the main things that came up was what’s known as the “five stages of grief”: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In addition to that I also watched two ted talks that discussed how one is able to move on and get back on their feet after they have lost a loved one. In Nancy Berns Ted talk she discussed the idea of closure and that’s what one seeks. However she argues that one cannot really reach closure but they can keep moving forward and that it can’t be rushed. She asserts that to help those around that are grieving that you must meet them where they’re at and give them the helping hand when they are ready to stand again. Much like Berns, Alana Sheeran also discusses grief stating that she dealt with the death of her child at five months. She explains how she had to tell hers story and that eventually she was able to own her grief and realized that it was okay that she felt certain ways but to be able recognize it.

With that in mind when writing my genres I mainly focused on grief and how it comes full circle. My first genre and last genre are quality pieces (Ruth Gendler) starting with Grief and ending with Acceptance. However, in between are a villanelle and a drawing that represent the different stages of grief. Since I learned not only about the different stages of grief but that it never really goes away but rather we learn how to live with it and keep moving forward I have two parts to my golden thread. The first part is that my first and last genre are qualities which marks the transition from how one is not able to face their grief at the beginning but at the end they can realize their grief and keep moving forward. In addition to that I also used the repetition of the phrase “this too shall pass”. The saying is most commonly known in hebrew reading גם זה יעבור‎. I believe that this was a good phrase because it represents how when one is grief that they know that it will pass, that good or bad it’s temporary. When picking this phrase I knew that I had originally heard it in Hebrew which I found was interesting because Perrotta’s book has many Christian and religious overtones so putting together shows the importance religion plays in allowing people to cope and can continue moving forward with their lives.

Expository: Moving Forward

Moving Forward

Humans are animals. However, what sets them apart is our emotions, emotions that consume us, become us. In Tom Perrotta’s book he focuses on the emotion of grief of the Garvey family and how the town of Mapleton deals with their grief after a rapture like event takes place and thousands of people disappear with no explanation and no return. It is said that grief has five stages:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. When looking at people's individual grief stories they seem to be quite different which means these stages may not happen in this order or that one may not go through each stage. In Perrotta’s novel each one of the members of the Garvey family and members of the town experience at least one of the stages of grief.

In her article “Dealing with the 5 stages of grief”, Dr. Christina Hibbert states that the denial stage is not one of denying that the person is gone but rather just a state of disbelief. She then goes on to state that part of this process is telling our story, over and over to make it real. This is true for Alana Sheeren in her Ted talk “Owning Our Grief”. She talks about how after she lost her baby at 5 months and that what helped her get through the beginning was telling her story publicly but also privately. It is at this time when she was probably in denial and needed a way to not get over it but cope. Her argument throughout is that we don’t need to get rid of our grief but to be to be able to recognize that we are grieving and the actions that go along with it. In Mapleton denial is not too not be too big of a factor for those that are left behind. They know that they are the ones that have literally been left behind in this phenomenon and that it is clear that those have left them are not coming back. However, they do seem to be in deny that the event that occurred on October 14th could in fact be the rapture. A lot of the people that are in charge of companies and schools, and even the president eventually say that it’s time to move on. Those that are left need to go back to living their lives, working, going to school, etc. Although for some this is still hard.

In addition to denial one of the five stages if bargaining. Hibbert states that denial is what “ keeps us focused on the past so we don’t have to feel the emotions of the present”. This one plays a big role in Perrotta’s novel. Two members of the Garey family fall into this when they join religious life groups that focus on the past and how After the event there are two groups that members of the Garvey family join more religious groups. Laurie, the matriarch of the family joins are group called the Guilty Remnant a group that goes around wearing all white, doesn’t talk, and always smoking a cigarette. There’s something about that group that represents that has religious overtones. White often symbolizes purity and innocence. Also while their name is Guilty Remnant shows that they are trying to show God or Christ that they feel bad that they didn’t believe and as a reminder that they are left behind. Trying to prove that they’ve changed wearing white and not speaking. Although they’re not quite bargaining in the way that Hibbert explains they’re bargaining in the sense that they are trying to bargain so that they won’t be left. They want to try and change their situation by showing they’ve changed.

What makes sense to be the last step of grieving is acceptance. However, this is a very hard thing to do. How does one accept that a loved one is gone forever? In Nancy Berns Ted talk “ she talks about the idea if grief with closure. Part of acceptance may be part of closure. Hibbert explains that closure means that “we are ready to try and move on—to accommodate ourselves to this world without our loved one”. However, truly accepting and moving on doesn’t always seem possible nor does finding closure.  In her Ted talk Nancy states that people don’t want to feel grief and that to get over it we think that we need closure. More importantly though she talks about how we want to help others get closure. However, she goes in a different direction at the end saying that one cannot get closure for another person. She states that “you need to meet them where they’re at” and that when they’re ready to give your hand to help them stand up. That in the end it’s about not about closure but that it’s about healing. Like Alana she ends by saying that we need to be able to work together and help one another up and accept our grief. At the end of the novel the Garvey family hasn’t quite reached acceptance. Instead they keep living their lives in the best way they know how to survive away from each other.

In the end grief is a complicated thing. It has many elements and stages that go along with it. People don’t want to feel the pain of a loss. Skipping to the end when we can move on, accept, get closure is what one seeks. However, the stages of grief can’t be skipped. One has to feel how they feel and own their grief. Perrotta tells the story of a town that is completely in grief and how those who are left behind survive and continue to move forward.

Bibliography

Perrotta, Tom. The Leftovers. New York: St. Martin's, 2011. Print.

Hibert, Christina. "5 Stages of Grief." Dr Christina Hibbert. N.p., 2015. Web. 18 May 2015.

"TEDxOjaiWomen - Alana Sheeren - Owning Our Grief." YouTube. YouTube, 14 Dec. 2014. Web. 18 May 2015.

"Beyond Closure: Nancy Berns at TEDxDesMoines." YouTube. YouTube, 8 Aug. 2012. Web. 18 May 2015.

Genre 1: Grief

Grief

Grief has many friends: Denial, Anger, Bargaining and Depression. After losing her best friend she did her best to keep her head up. She tried to keep her friends from coming because she wanted to be alone.

However, denial, anger, bargaining, and depression came to visit. One by one they came and went sometimes together or one alone. Each of her friends holding her by the end and giving their advice. Denial came first, telling her that it wasn’t true. Anger and bargaining came together, blaming those around them and asking for what they wanted right there and then. Depression came last. With his head down and tries to prepare grief for the next part of her journey.

Grief is no longer alone. What she doesn’t know is that this too shall pass.

Genre 2: How I Learned To Survive

How I learned to survive

He once told me, “This too shall pass”

Those who have lost have fell

I will help you stand and move from the past

Look at those around you, rage against the mass

Do not bring me into the lies you tell

He once told me, “This too shall pass”

Some go around and will harass

blame those and pray that they be put in a cell

I will help you stand and move from the past

Make sure that you’re not last

To be heard you can scream and yell

He once told me, “This too shall pass”

When one dies it has nothing to do with class

It has happened now, no need to dwell

I will help you stand and move from the past

But the pain is what will outlast

Now do you feel like you live in hell?

He once told me, “This too shall pass”

I will help you stand and move from the past

Genre 3: "This Too Shall Pass"

Genre 4: Acceptance

Acceptance

Acceptance is strong. When he comes to visit Grief, her friends all barricade the door trying to hold it shut. For Acceptance though this is a fight worth fighting. He brings Closure and Healing. Working together they fight to wash away Denial, Anger, Bargaining, and Depression.

Some people think that Acceptance can’t win. They don’t have faith or hope that he will overcome. Instead they let hate and pessimism be slipped under their door.

Acceptance is smarter though. He comes from the back and the sides. Climbing through the window he grabs Grief, holding her hand. Taking her away from the house. He tells her that when she’s ready he’ll hold out his hand and be her support to get back up and tells her “this too shall pass”.

Q4 in process 2

As humans we follow the circle of life. We’re born and we live our lives and then we die. However, what if we didn’t die, but rather disappeared. What would happen? What would we become? The world around us? In his critically acclaimed novel, The Leftovers, Tom Perrotta writes about what happens in Mapleton when a rapture like event takes place when thousands of people disappear without warning or explanation. Following the Garvey family, Perrotta, weaves together an intricate story of those left behind and their struggle to survive after those that they loved are gone. Throughout Perrotta uncovers each stage of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

The first thing that I researched was the rapture. Even on the back cover of the book it is mentioned that the event that takes place within the novel is a “rapture like event”. The rapture is a Christian belief that are true believers will be brought to heaven and those that don’t will be left on earth during a “tribulation” period. It is during this period that those left will live for another seven years of persecution ending in death. Although Perrotta's book does not end in death it is much like the rapture theories explained today. In his novel, on October 14th was when the “rapture” happened. Yet, lots of the people that live in the town of Mapleton are in denial of what’s happened. On the front of a newsletter reads “OCTOBER 14TH WAS NOT THE RAPTURE!!!” Although it seems that the event that has taken place is much like it. People of all ages disappeared without warning and haven’t returned. In addition to this there are a lot of religious tones to the book. While there is the clear event that is the main focus of the book the way those that are left act has religious accents.

After the event there are two groups that members of the Garvey family join more religious groups. Laurie, the matriarch of the family joins are group called the Guilty Remnant a group that goes around wearing all white, doesn’t talk, and always smoking a cigarette. There’s something about that group that represents that has religious overtones. White often symbolizes purity and innocence. Also while their name is Guilty Remnant shows that they are trying to show God or Christ that they feel bad that they didn’t believe and as a reminder that they are left behind. Trying to prove that they’ve changed wearing white and not speaking. However, the smoking a cigarette seems less than healthy and to do to show that one feels bad. In addition to Laurie, Tom, the eldest child of the Garvey drops out of college to join the Healing Hug Movement. It is this movement that a man named Mr. Gilchrest who lost his son in the rapture. It is after living life unhappy that he learns that when he hugs people he can take away some of their pain and he can take it. However, again this group seems more questionable as it grows. My. Glichrest turning into more of a celebrity than a speaker that wants to make people feel better. In addition he believes that whichever one of his his wives he impregnates first will be the savior.

While there are religious overtones throughout the book there is also the idea of grief run throughout. It is a well known saying that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Each of these stages getting one closer to the feeling of closure. Each of the characters in Perrotta’s novel deals with one of these parts of grief while also trying to make those around them feel better.

Denial seems to not be too big of a factor for those that are left behind. They know that they are the ones that have literally been left behind in this phenomenon and that it is clear that those have left them are not coming back. However, they do seem to be in deny that the event that occurred on October 14th could in fact be the rapture. A lot of the people that are in charge of companies and schools, and even the president eventually say that it’s time to move on. Those that are left need to go back to living their lives, working, going to school, etc. Although for some this is still hard.